Call Me a Sinner, Call Me a Saint
by Aranelle
Summary: Set in 1920's Chicago, featuring gangster!boys. James is assigned to spy on Gustavo Rocque and his right hand man, Kendall Knight by his boss, Arthur Griffin.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Set in 1920's Chicago, featuring gangster!boys. James is assigned to spy on Gustavo Rocque and his right hand man, Kendall Knight by his boss, Arthur Griffin.

Warnings: Minor character death, and everything associated with Chicago gangsters in the 1920's. Minor descriptions of blood and shooting, and angst.

**A/N: Inspired by a gangster tour when my best friend visited me in Chicago last April, because what about the boys in pinstripe suits isn't hot? There's a significant amount of 1920's jargon in this, which should be explained within context. For anything not, see this website.**

**Also, an Important Note: **The word "fag" crops up in here a few times. This was** not **a slur in the 1920s. I have researched this extensively, and it made me twitch to write, but it's equivalent to how we use "gay" now. To clarify.

* * *

><p>James Diamond straightens his jacket as he walks into the restaurant where he'd been told he'll find Gustavo Rocque. His eyes narrow, searching the dim room as he casually feels for the gun in his belt, just in case. He'd been ordered by his boss, Arthur Griffin, to infiltrate Rocque's organization so they could take over Rocque's territory, since Griffin'd been itching to get the West Side of Chicago under his thumb only days after he'd assumed control of the South Side. He'd ordered James, as his best and most trusted hit man, to handle the task personally, a task that James had agreed to easily.<p>

After a few seconds of searching James's eyes alight on Rocque, sitting at a booth with Kendall Knight, the guy James knows is Rocque's second in command. He squares his shoulders and walks over, casually opening his hands at his sides as a gesture of good faith. Rocque turns and arches an eyebrow at him, and James swallows down the nerves as he approaches the table, arching an eyebrow as Knight takes out a gun and lays it on the table.

"Need something?" he asks, fingers tracing over the handle of the gun casually. "This is a private booth." James shrugs and directs his gaze to Rocque, who's just eyeing him, with a hint of curiosity.

"I heard you been looking for some help," James says offhandedly, half his attention focused on Knight, who's still casually caressing the gun on the table. "Thought maybe I might be what you're looking for." Rocque laughs out loud, casting an appraising glance over James and motioning him to pull up a chair.

"You think you got something to offer me?" he asks once James has a chair next to the table. "I don't need Griffin's castoffs, I'm Gustavo Rocque." James shrugs, leaning back casually.

"You think I'd be sitting here if I was a castoff?" he asks, watching Knight's expression carefully, taking a split second to appreciate how attractive he is up close.

"So what d'you want then, Diamond?" Knight asks, eyebrow arched at James in challenge, and James shrugs again.

"Told you, thought maybe I could be an asset," he says, eyes on Rocque again, "I can give you information on Griffin, that ain't worth something to you?" Rocque eyes him intently for a few minutes, and James knows not to speak, because he's right at the point where this could go either way; he'll either get a chance, or Knight will put a bullet in him.

"It's worth something," Rocque says casually, "depends on your information though, kid." James bristles slightly at the use of the word kid, which makes Knight smirk.

"Gustavo, I think this guy's useless," he says, delicately spinning the gun on the table and pointing the barrel at James. "Why don't we just get the check and call it a day?"

"Not just yet," Rocque says, holding up a hand to Knight without taking his eyes off James. "What kind of information?"

"I was his right hand man, that ain't enough?" James asks, eyes narrowing slightly. "Tell your dog to put that gun away, I didn't come here to fight." Knight laughs, gripping the handle of the gun more firmly.

"Easy, Kendall," Rocque says firmly, turning to fix Knight with a look, and James lets out a tiny breath.

"So you're interested," James says, more a statement than a question, an Rocque laughs.

"Course I am," he says, "but I ain't just gonna take your word for it." James nods, already expecting that.

"So here's what we'll do," he says, motioning for Knight to put the gun away, "you help me hit Griffin, hard, and maybe I see about giving you a spot in my organization." James nods again, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table.

"Griffin's men are gonna hit a place on Madison this afternoon," he says, "you could send him a message." Rocque nods, turning to Knight.

"Go with him," he instructs, and Knight nods, fixing James with a smirk. "If he double crosses you, kill him."

"With pleasure," Knight says smoothly, leaning back against the booth, the picture of confidence, "always wanted to be the guy that took out James Diamond." James keeps his expression carefully blank as he looks back at Rocque.

"So we got a deal?" Rocque nods, holding out a hand for James to shake.

"One chance," he says, "prove your loyalty and you're in; meet Kendall back here in an hour." James nods in understanding as he stands, nodding to Knight before turning and heading out of the restaurant.

* * *

><p>An hour later James is standing outside the restaurant, tilting his hat to block the sunlight from his eyes. He nods as Knight walks up to him, prepared when he's immediately backed against the brick of the building. Knight pulls his gun and presses it under James's chin, forcing his head to tilt up.<p>

"I don't trust you," he says conversationally, leaning against the wall next to James as he takes in the expression on James's face, not an inch of space between them, "I got an itchy trigger finger; one whiff of this being a set up and you're dead, understand?"

"It's not a set up," James lies easily, although it is half true; he and Griffin plotted this out a few days ago, the idea to send a few lackeys somewhere so James could give them up, knowing it'd be the perfect way to gain Rocque's trust. "Get your damn gun outta my face."

"So what are we doin'?" Knight asks, waiting a second before pulling back and sliding his gun back into its holster. "You said a place on Madison?"

"Yeah," James agrees, brushing himself off and shooting Knight an indignant glare. "Word is there's a shipment of something Griffin wants coming in about now, they're gonna try to take it."

"Griffin didn't tell you what it was?" Knight asks with a smirk. "Thought you were his right hand man." James shakes his head as they walk over to Kendall's car and climb in.

"Rocque tells you everything?" he asks, smirking as Knight shrugs.

"Where on Madison?" he asks, turning to look at James, who points a little ways up ahead.

"Warehouse on the corner there," he says, and Knight nods, parking behind a building and shutting the car off, just watching.

"They here now, you think?" he asks, and James nods; they'd planned this, for a few guys Griffin didn't really like to be at the warehouse an hour ago so James could "surprise" them. They walk up to the warehouse, and Knight peers through a dingy window, turning to nod at James.

"There's four guys in there," he says, cocky grin gracing his features. "You first." James rolls his eyes and pulls his gun out, striding into the warehouse with Knight right behind him. Griffin's men stare at James in disbelief, immediately drawing their guns.

"Diamond, what the hell are you doing here?" one of them asks, and James smirks; Griffin made sure no one else knew about this plan.

"New boss," he shrugs, "we'll take that shipment off your hands."

"No way," the guy says; James realizes he doesn't even know the kid's name. "We've got orders."

"You should probably think about listening," James says easily, pointing his gun at the kid's face. "I got no problem shooting you." The kid scowls, raising his gun and aiming for Knight.

"I'd get all kinda favor from Griffin if I took out Kendall Knight," he says thoughtfully, pulling back the safety on his gun, and even though it's the last thing James really wants to do he raises his own gun, pointing it at the kid.

"I wouldn't," he says easily, and when the kid moves to pull the trigger James puts a bullet in the kid's head. The other three immediately start shooting back, aiming wildly, and as James ducks behind a crate he notices one of the other kids fire at Knight. He instinctively grabs Knight and drags him to the ground, just quickly enough that the bullet misses his head.

"Thanks," Knight gasps, staring at James in shock for a second before he straightens up and fires once, letting out a noise of satisfaction; James assumes Knight took the kid out. James straightens up next to Knight and they stare down the last two guys. Knight takes a step away from the crate, dodging another shot and firing back, clipping the kid in the shoulder. He lets out a shout and crumples, and as Knight walks up to finish the kid off James approaches the other. The kid fires once at him before turning and hightailing it out of there, and James dodges the shot easily before firing back, deliberately missing. He hears one more shot and turns around to see Knight staring at him in disbelief.

"Missed him," James shrugged. "What's that look for?"

"You saved my ass twice," Knight says before the suspicion comes back. "It's gonna take more than that to get me to trust you, hope you know that."

"Wasn't expecting anything different," James shrugs again, "I ain't dumb enough to think one time I help you get Griffin's gonna be enough." Knight nods, casting an appraising glance over James.

"Let's hit the road," he says, "can't believe you let the last kid get away."

"He got lucky," James says, following Knight out of the warehouse and back into the car.

"So you really weren't gonna double cross me," Knight muses as he drives, glancing over at James. "You had a perfect opportunity to let Griffin's men bump me off, and you didn't. Why?" James shrugs.

"Don't think Rocque'd liked it if I'd let his best hit-man get shot," he says, and Knight nods suspiciously, which James was expecting; he knew he'd have to put work into this.


	2. Chapter 2

It takes James a while before he thinks Rocque is starting to trust him, but he and Griffin were both prepared for it; it wasn't enough to get close enough to Rocque to take him out, Griffin wanted to make sure no one in his organization would take over. Which meant eventually taking Knight out, too. Something James is wondering if he's not starting to have mixed feelings about. Knight is as suspicious of him as ever, and when Rocque brings James into his main office of operations the look on Knight's face is one of complete disbelief.

James is introduced to some of the other people in Rocque's organization; most notably Carlos Garcia, who apparently is second only to Knight. Garcia's a wisecracker, but there's something genuine about him; James thinks under different circumstances they might have been as close as brothers. He's then introduced to Logan Mitchell and his wife, Camille; he's a doctor at a nearby hospital, and is Rocque's resident medic when things go awry. Camille is beautiful, James thinks, Mitchell explains that she hangs around while he's patching the guys up, for entertainment. James isn't sure what that means at first, until he sees that Camille's got a flair for the dramatic, singing and dancing for the guys.

Garcia sidles up to James after he's made the rounds, leaning back against a desk casually.

"So I hear you saved Kendall's back twice on your first caper," he says offhandedly, tilting his head to look at James from under the brim of his hat. "Ain't many new guys that do that kinda thing. Gives 'em room to move up, y'know?" James shrugs; he didn't let Knight get killed because it was in his best interests to keep him alive.

"I look out for the guys I'm with," he says simply. Garcia nods in understanding, looking at James critically.

"Kendall and I got a place we like," he says, "underground, you know. Juice joint. Good place to get bent, or neck, if that's your thing. We were gonna stop by later, sound like you might wanna join us?"

"Sure," James says with a shrug; he'd really rather not, if he's honest, but it looks good. "Where at?"

"Corner of Jackson and Ashland," Garcia says, "we get there around seven." James nods, wondering how Knight will react when he shows up.

* * *

><p>Seven o'clock rolls around and James finds himself at the corner Garcia told him to be at; he nods as he sees Garcia and Knight walking up, and the look on Knight's face makes him smirk a little.<p>

"Who invited you?" Knight asks, and James just keeps smirking.

"I did, lay off," Garcia says firmly, and James actually really likes this guy. "C'mon, I wanna get plastered." Knight shrugs and they head inside, and James is shocked to see that this is a bar exclusively for fags.

"So this is your thing?" he asks Knight as they walk over to a booth with seats almost like a couch. Knight shrugs, motioning a bartender over and ordering them all drinks. Garcia smirks as a young guy he obviously knows walks over and climbs into his lap, and they immediately start to neck.

"Not yours?" he asks, and this time James shrugs.

"Didn't say that," he says, taking his drink when the bartender comes back. "Just never figured you as a fag."

"Carlos was the one that showed me this place," Knight says, taking a sip of his drink as he leans back and surveys James appraisingly.

"What's that look for?" James asks, staring at Knight in challenge; he's pretty sure he's being checked out right now.

"Nothin'," Knight shrugs. "Gustavo talks you up a lot these days, bet that makes you happy."

"Feelin' threatened?" James asks with a smirk. "If you're not careful I could get your place." Knight rolls his eyes and laughs.

"You'd have a bullet in your back before you got that far," he says easily, "don't flatter yourself." James laughs, because he knows that, and he thinks it might be all the hooch they're drinking, but he actually doesn't mind Knight's company right now.

"Surprised you haven't already," he says, fixing Knight with a wicked grin, "gone soft or something?" Knight laughs and leans back in the booth, casually pulling his jacket back to show James the gun he has holstered at his hip.

"What do you think?" he asks, grinning dangerously.

"You ain't bad company, Knight," James laughs, and Knight's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline in surprise.

"Thanks," he says cautiously, and James can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out what James's angle is. "You're not all that bad yourself." Knight takes another sip of his drink and surveys James again.

"So what made you be a turncoat?" he asks. "Way I hear it Griffin's off his nut, surprised you got out alive."

"He is," James agrees, which is true; Griffin's known for being insane. "Got tired of it, is all. Heard Rocque's good to his men."

"He is," Knight agrees, "tough, but he's all right to work for." Garcia looks at them then from behind the young guy on his lap, smirking slightly.

"You two gonna sit there all night beating your gums or are you gonna get plastered?" he asks, eyeing them.

"Oh, go chase yourself," Knight says without any force, downing the rest of his drink and glancing at James.

"Level with me on something," he says seriously, rolling his eyes as Garcia goes back to necking. "What's your angle, ditching Griffin? I can't put my finger on how you got away alive."

"Well it ain't like I handed him a resignation letter," James says, wondering where Knight is going with this. "Just wasn't there one day. Came looking for Rocque instead." Knight nods slowly, and James thinks he might actually believe that, because it's the truth; he just doesn't mention Griffin already knew.

"Guess I can see that," Knight says, "still, it seems fishy. Can't work out why." James shrugs, because there's no other way for him to respond.

"Seems like you're just gonna have to give me a fair shake," he says, and suddenly he feels like he wants Knight to trust him, "ain't nothing else you can do."

"Guess not," Knight agrees, and that's that; they both order another round and set about getting plastered, and vaguely James wonders where all this is going to end up.


	3. Chapter 3

The trip to the bar becomes a regular thing for the three of them; Mitchell joins them every now and then, and James is struck by how easily the four of them fit together, like they've known each other their whole lives. James finds that he and Knight have a lot in common, and once the hooch looses Knight's tongue they can spend hours talking, about nothing and everything.

After he's been at this over a month Rocque sends James, Knight and Garcia out on another caper; some upstart's been trying to get a piece of Rocque's territory, which Rocque spends a good ten minutes shouting about; James thinks it's funny that Griffin's the one that's known for being crackers, but Rocque probably has him beat, easy.

The three of them head to a restaurant where they've been told they'll find this kid; Rocque tells them his name is Jett Stetson, and apparently he's a real high hat; Knight just laughs that the kid's a sap if he thinks he's gonna get anywhere. When they walk in they see Stetson at a table, and the similarities of James seeking out Rocque strike him; except this time they're not here to make nice.

"Let's wait outside," Knight says, so they turn and walk out; James sees the other kid at the table, they've been told his name is Dak Zevon, watching them suspiciously.

"Zevon just made us, Kendall," Garcia says, leaning against the brick wall of the building. "It ain't gonna be easy to do this."

"Wasn't gonna be easy anyway," Knight says with a shrug. They head back to Knight's car to get the Tommy guns they'd stashed there, and set up across the street to wait.

It takes a good hour before Stetson and Zevon come out; they immediately turn and head down an alley, at which point Knight motions for them to follow. They keep their distance until Stetson and Zevon are in a relatively secluded area; they don't want anyone else to come running to help, after all. As they approach Stetson turns to face them, smirk plastered on his face as he pulls out a gun.

"What d'you want?" he asks, leveling the gun at them, smirk widening as Zevon does the same.

"You're outta your depth here, Stetson," Garcia sneers, "leave town and we might think about lettin' you live." Stetson laughs and fires, which Garcia dodges, ducking behind a garbage can. James and Knight immediately seek cover too, and as James pokes his head up from behind the dumpster he sees Garcia firing back at Zevon, ducking again when he misses. Knight nods at James before moving out from behind the dumpster, and the barrage of bullets is deafening as he fires. James waits a split second before following, training his gun on Zevon and firing, letting out a noise of frustration when Zevon dodges it.

"You're a pretty poor shot!" Zevon taunts as he opens fire again, and James growls in the back of his throat as he ducks, because this is getting ridiculous. He watches and waits for his opportunity as Knight and Garcia empty their ammunition at Zevon and Stetson, smiling in satisfaction when he hears Zevon let out a cry of pain. He stands and moves next to Knight, who nods at him. James notices Zevon's not badly hurt, but before he realizes what's happened Knight's on the ground, crying out in pain. There's blood everywhere, and it's like something snaps in James, because the next thing he knows he's shouting something at the bastards that just shot Kendall. He advances on them without a thought for his own safety, pulling out his revolver and shooting Zevon square between the eyes. Stetson lets out a noise of disbelief, and James hears a rushing noise as he levels his gun at Stetson, putting a bullet between his eyes too. The revolver drops from his hand as he turns to see Kendall in Garcia's arms, white as a sheet and breathing heavily.

"We gotta get him back to Logan," Garcia says frantically, and James sees Kendall's been hit in the shoulder, and he's soaked in blood. Together they lift Kendall up and James doesn't pay any attention to anything as Garcia drives them back, focused only on Kendall, and how he seems to be losing way too much blood.

It's a blur as they get Kendall in to Mitchell, who immediately calls for Camille, who rushes in with medical supplies and an anesthetic for Kendall. Garcia pulls James aside as Mitchell sets to work, eyeing him curiously, and James knows what he must look like; he has no idea what made him react the way he did.

"You look like you need a stiff drink," Garcia says sympathetically, motioning Camille over, who hands James a bottle of vodka. "Never seen a fella lose it like that before during a caper, you all right?" James nods weakly, unable to look anywhere but at Kendall and Mitchell, but from the look on Mitchell's face things are going well. Ten minutes later Kendall's stitched up and breathing easier, and the first thing he does is turn his head to fix James with a searching glance.

"C'mere," he commands softly, holding out a hand, and James obeys, not even noticing as the room clears out, leaving him alone with Kendall. "You wanna explain what that was?" James shrugs as he sits down on the edge of the bed, because he's got a pretty good idea, but he's not sure he's ready to admit it just yet.

"Told ya, I look out for the fellas I'm with," he offers, and Kendall shakes his head, taking James's hand and squeezing it.

"Ain't never seen a fella lose it like that when I got shot," he says softly, "you went off your nut, not even Carlos reacts like that, and me and him been friends for years."

"I dunno, Kendall." James shrugs. "Just...guess I like you more than I knew I did." Kendall's staring at him in shock now, James wonders what he said.

"You called me Kendall," he says softly, "all I ever hear is Knight when you talk to me." James blinks, because he hadn't even realized that he was thinking of Kendall as Kendall instead of Knight. It sends his thoughts into a tailspin, because now he has to confront what he's been avoiding thinking about for a while now; the fact that this double cross is backfiring on him, the last thing he wants to do now is take Kendall and Rocque out. He thinks instead he'd rather kiss Kendall, and the thought makes him smile.

"What're you lookin' at me like that for?" Kendall asks, smiling slightly, like he can read James's thoughts. "If you're gonna kiss me or something get over here and do it."

James blinks a few times before he moves to Kendall's head; it's like he has no control over his body, like Kendall's this magnetic force pulling him in, and he's surprised to realize he doesn't mind. He bends down and kisses Kendall gently, and Kendall lets out this sigh, like he's been waiting for this, which makes James smile again. The next thing James knows he's lying on top of Kendall, mindful of his injured shoulder, kissing him like if he stops they'll both die.

"It's about damn time," Kendall mutters against his lips, and James feels the smile more than he sees it. "Been waitin' on this forever, Jamie." James pulls back to stare at Kendall, because no one's ever called him that before, but strangely, the name falling from Kendall's lips doesn't bother him.

"What?" Kendall asks with a grin. "Get back here and keep kissing me."

"Okay, okay," James says with a laugh, "just ain't been called Jamie before." Kendall laughs too, shaking his head as he uses his good arm to pull James back down.

"I like callin' you Jamie," he says, "looks like you're just gonna have to get used to it." James just rolls his eyes with a grin as he settles down at Kendall's side, head on Kendall's chest and Kendall's arm tight around his waist. It's nice, he muses, now he just has to figure a way to tell Kendall he's been spying. He doesn't think it'll go well, and the thought of hurting Kendall makes him sick, but he pushes the thought away, letting Kendall's warmth comfort him as Kendall dozes off.

* * *

><p>Logan comes to check on Kendall nearly an hour later; the knowing smirk on his face as he walks over to check Kendall's bandage says everything, James knows Kendall's talked to Logan about him, and the crush he was apparently harboring. Carlos follows a few minutes later, and James feels his cheeks heat up as Carlos grins widely at James wrapped around Kendall in the tiny bed.<p>

"'Bout damn time," he says, "knew you had a crush on him after you went crackers like that." James just rolls his eyes and settles further into Kendall's embrace, suddenly realizing that Kendall's not the only one he's thinking of on a first name basis; apparently he cares more about these guys than he thought. He thinks it explains a lot. Logan murmurs something to Kendall about pain medication that Kendall nods to, tightening his arm around James's waist as he tells Logan and Carlos to clear off because he and James have "things to do." Logan mutters something about needing new friends as he leaves, grabbing Carlos by the hand and admonishing him that he's not allowed to watch.

"You know I ain't lettin' you go, right Jamie?" Kendall asks, tipping his head back to look at James. "Ain't never felt this way about anyone before, which is weird because when you first joined us I kept watchin' you to put a bullet in your back." James feels a little nauseous at that, wondering wildly if Kendall will kill him when he finds out the whole thing was a double cross, and how much he'll torture James before he actually kills him. Or maybe he won't care. James thinks that's unlikely, though.

"Ain't going anywhere," James says softly, and it's true; he won't leave unless he has to. Kendall smiles at that, leaning in to kiss him, and it surprises James that Kendall can be so gentle, but he relaxes into it, wanting as much time with Kendall as he can before this all blows up in his face.


	4. Chapter 4

It takes James a few days before he can't take the pressure anymore; Griffin wants a meeting with him, and James knows the second Griffin sees him the fact that James isn't going to take anyone out anymore will be plain as daylight, which means that he has to come clean to Kendall and take his chances. Kendall's still laid up, so James has been by his side almost constantly, and it scares him how much he wishes this could be forever, the things that he'd give up to make it so. They're lying together on Kendall's bed when James finally decides to broach the topic, because as much as this will hurt, Logan hasn't allowed Kendall to carry a weapon since he was shot, so James will be able to escape.

"So I figure we're pretty close now, right?" he asks, picking his head up to look at Kendall, suddenly realizing that he loves this man next to him. Kendall nods, and James thinks he's probably imagining the love he thinks he sees in Kendall's eyes, because maybe if Kendall loves him enough they could work through this; James knows he's not going back to Griffin now, but he doesn't fool himself into believing that anyone'll trust him once he comes out as a double crosser.

"Seems so," Kendall says, "what're you thinkin' about? Ain't seen you look like this before, Jamie, you look scared." Kendall reaches up to cup James's cheek, and James's eyes close as he sucks in a miserable breath.

"Talk to me, Jamie, tell me what's goin' on in that pretty head of yours. We'll work it out."

"Even if I was gonna double cross you when I first met you?" James asks miserably, wincing when he feels Kendall's hand fall from his cheek. He opens his eyes to see Kendall staring at him like he'd just slapped him, eyes wide.

"What d'you mean, were?" Kendall asks cautiously, and James can see the barely controlled rage and betrayal swirling in Kendall's gaze. "Ain't gonna do it anymore?"

"Can't," James says softly, eyes pleading with Kendall to understand, to know that James has changed, that he doesn't want anything but to be with Kendall anymore. "Fell for you, hard. Rather you just kill me now than do what Griffin wanted. And he wants to see me tomorrow, he'll kill me when he realizes I ain't gonna do it, so either way...ain't gotta chance."

"Doesn't seem that way," Kendall says softly, and James feels his heart shatter, "think you should go, Jamie. I ain't gotta gun right now, probably best if you clear off before I get my hands on one. Shoulda known better than to trust you."

"I ain't been double crossing you for weeks," James says as he climbs out of the bed, "told you; I fell hard. Think I love you, even, and I ain't never loved anyone before." Kendall doesn't say anything, so James walks out of the room, heading for the nearest bar. His days are numbered now, he knows that, but he can't really bring himself to care; he died inside when he saw the look on Kendall's face.

* * *

><p>James isn't sure how long he stays at the bar; hours, days, it doesn't matter. He's only waiting to die, after all. He jumps as he feels someone tap him on the shoulder, turning to see Carlos looking at him.<p>

"Kendall told me to come find you," he says, and James sees the gun in his hand. He sighs, because he was half wishing Kendall would want to do the job himself; at least then he'd be the last thing James saw before the gates of Hell. He shrugs and turns away from Carlos, who grabs him by the collar of his suit jacket and hauls him out of the bar and into an alley, tossing him on the ground.

"Damnit, Carlos, just do it already," James growls, eyeing the gun, which is hanging loosely at Carlos's side. "Ain't interested in waiting no more, get it over with."

"That ain't why I'm here," Carlos says, holstering his gun, and James stares in disbelief, eyes widening further when Kendall steps out from behind a dumpster and walks over.

"Told Gustavo what you told me," Kendall says, staring down at James. "He asked me what I didn't put a bullet in you for, told him I couldn't, on account of that I'm in love with you. Gustavo's always liked me, said if that's the case we should get out now before something happened. So I had Carlos find you." He kneels down next to James, and his voice is so soft James can barely hear it.

"I think I always knew why you came to us," he says, holding up a hand when James opens his mouth. "Told ya, I kept watching you to put a bullet in your back. Then I get shot and I knew after I saw you go off your nut like that things had changed. So I ain't gonna kill ya, Jamie, instead Carlos is gonna help us get away from this godforsaken city."

"What about Griffin?" James asks softly, knowing that if he doesn't show up for their meeting Griffin will just attack Gustavo and kill everyone James has come to care about. "I ain't leavin' unless I put a bullet in his head, he'll never stop lookin' for me otherwise."

"You said he wants to see you today?" Kendall asks, and James nods, realizing that he'd spent the whole night at that bar. "Right, then you'll go see him, and we'll get Logan handy and come with you; shouldn't be too hard to get him, he still trusts you, yeah?"

"Ain't given him a reason not to," James says, looking at his watch. "Probably oughta get goin' then, he wants to meet soon." Kendall nods, hauling James off the ground and then James is crushed to him in a kiss, and his relief is so palpable he laughs out loud.

"Ain't told you yet," Kendall says as he pulls back with a smile, "I love you, Jamie. Always have, I think." James smiles and kisses Kendall again, holding him tight.

"C'mon, lovebirds, let's go," Carlos urges, "it ain't gonna help James any if he doesn't show up to his meeting."

"So why didn't you just shoot me?" James asks once he and Kendall are in the back seat of the car, because he's half wondering if maybe Carlos _did_ shoot him, and this what his dying mind is seeing before he goes.

"Talked to Carlos about it," Kendall says, holding James tight against his side, "he said if I loved you it shoulda been enough, because he knew from the second he met you that you weren't gonna double cross us. Carlitos is a pretty good judge of character, and once I thought it over I realized he was right. You hadn't done a thing to hurt any of us, and as far as I could tell you ain't passed anything on to Griffin that could hurt us, and I really do love ya, so it was a pretty easy decision." James just stares, because he really can't believe this is happening, and it must show on his face, because Kendall laughs.

"I promise, you ain't dead, Jamie," he says, grinning and pressing a kiss to the side of James's head, "I'm really here."

"Just...never expected this," James says softly, leaning into Kendall's embrace. "Thought for sure you'd never believe me when I said I ain't plannin' on double crossing you." Kendall shakes his head, and James thinks he could die a happy man now, because Kendall loves him, and it's enough.

They pull up a few blocks away from where James is due to meet Griffin after they pick Logan up, and James gets out alone and walks into the building. They picked another restaurant, but this time it's deserted, the only people present are Griffin and the kid that's holding down James's responsibilities while he's off on this con, Wally Dooley. Dooley nods at him suspiciously, and James knows Kendall and Carlos are outside if James needs them, and by the looks of things, he's definitely going to.

"James!" Griffin exclaims, clapping his hands together with mirth. Griffin's always been a little eccentric, which is why he's got a reputation of being completely crackers, and James knows he has to play this carefully. "I hope you have good news for me!"

"He ain't got good news, look at him," Dooley sneers, eyeing James with contempt. "Told ya, boss, he's already double crossed you. Never shoulda trusted him."

"Shut up," James snarls, pulling his gun and pointing it at Dooley, which makes Griffin laugh with delight.

"Ooh, a showdown," he says gleefully, "let's see who wins." James shakes his head, swinging his gun around to point at Griffin instead.

"I ain't doin' this no more," he says quietly, "I'm done, Griffin. Out." Griffin stares at him in disbelief before his expression hardens and faster than James can blink there's a revolver pointed at his face.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," Kendall says as he walks up behind James, and James can't decide if he's relieved or terrified that Kendall's there with him, because he knows he can't live without Kendall anymore.

"Looks like we're at a standoff," Griffin says brusquely, revolver still trained on James. "I've got no interest in you, Knight; if you turn and walk away now you'll live to see tomorrow."

"Ain't goin' anywhere," Kendall says firmly, and James swings his gun around to Dooley when he hears the click of a safety, shooting him when he sees Dooley aiming for Kendall. Dooley collapses, dead, but before James can even blink his chest explodes in white hot pain and he can _feel_, feel the life draining from him as he looks down to see his suit stained with blood. Another shot, and a desperate cry for Carlos and Logan, and then through his rapidly darkening vision James sees Kendall, feels his hand being taken and squeezed, and he nods at Kendall, letting him know it's okay, that he can die happy now, because Kendall loves him.

"Jamie, don't you dare shut those pretty eyes of yours, you keep lookin' at me, ya understand?" James barely sees anything anymore, he's so _weak_, but he forces his eyes to stay trained on Kendall, because he wants this to be the last thing he sees before he lets go. He vaguely registers being hoisted up into someone's arms, and Kendall's still talking to him, James can see his lips moving, but he can't hear anymore, can barely see, he knows he's about to die.

"It's okay," he manages to whisper, and Kendall clings to him tightly, "love you, Kendall. Don't mind dying for you." He feels Kendall's tears hot on his cheek as he's clutched tight to Kendall's chest, and James lets out a sigh as he allows the blackness to claim him, finally content.


	5. Chapter 5

_"He looks like he's comin' around."_

_"Logan, should he be this pale?"_

_"He's gonna be fine, Kendall, he almost died, and lost a lot of blood, he ain't gonna look right for a few days. Carlos, get back from him, let Kendall have some space."_

_"Okay, okay. My fault for bein' worried about him."_

_"You promise me he ain't gonna die? I ain't living without him." _A noise, some shuffling, but James still can't open his eyes. He groans softly as his world tips sideways, hearing an intake of breath somewhere to his right.

_"Jamie, can you hear me? Open those pretty eyes for me, Jamie, please." _James groans softly again, struggling to get his eyes open but they won't _listen_, and it frustrates him because he can't get his body to cooperate at all.

_"Kendall, shut it, let him open his eyes on his own! I already told ya, he's gonna be just fine, he can't just snap back into consciousness."_

_"Fine."_ James lets out a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whine, and suddenly his eyes are open and staring into Kendall's green ones and James doesn't think he's ever been so relieved to see another person in his entire life. Kendall blinks for a second before he crushes James to him, and James feels hot tears against his skin again as Kendall loses whatever composure he was holding onto.

"Jesus, Kendall, don't break him!" Logan says frantically, pulling Kendall back, and James shakes his head, reaching out with shaky arms to pull Kendall back to him.

"Fuck, Jamie, don't ever scare me like that again, you understand?" Kendall says into James's chest, which is bare and bandaged, and James shakes his head weakly, tipping his head down to bury his face in Kendall's hair.

"S'gonna take more than that to get me to leave you," he says, voice hoarse and croaky, "what happened?" Kendall picks up his head and immediately kisses James soundly, and James gets it; he didn't think he'd ever get to do this again either.

"Griffin shot you when you put that bullet in Dooley," he says after he pulls back, reaching up to stroke James's hair, and James's eyes flutter shut in contentment, "I shot him before he could think about pullin' the trigger again. Got him right in the chest, where he got you. Called Logan and Carlos and we got you here. Jamie, jesus, you lost so much blood, and when you passed out on me in the car like that...I didn't know what I was gonna do without you."

"Sorry," he manages, and Kendall shakes his head.

"Don't you dare apologize, this ain't your fault," he says firmly, "but as soon as you're up to it we're leavin' Chicago; Gustavo's got some people in Texas that're gonna help us get into Mexico, no one'll be able to find us there." James nods in agreement, suddenly exhausted.

"Kendall, for god's sake, just let him rest!" Logan admonishes, crossing his arms and glaring at Kendall, which makes James chuckle softly.

"Just hold me, okay?" James whispers, wrapping his arms around Kendall as he looks up at Logan. "It okay if I sleep some?" Logan nods, walking over and sweeping James's hair off his forehead with a smile.

"You scared the hell outta all of us, bastard," he says fondly, and James realizes he doesn't want to leave Chicago, not without Carlos, Logan and Camille.

"Come with us," he says, looking at Logan seriously. "Ain't gonna be the same without you and Camille, and wouldn't be a bad idea to have a bodyguard, so Carlitos can come too." Logan stares at him like he's grown a second head, but Kendall picks up his head to fix James with a grin like the cat that ate the canary.

"Jamie's gotta good point," he says, looking over at Carlos. "What d'you think?"

"I ain't got nothin' keepin' me here but you guys," he says with a grin. "I'm in." Logan sighs, calling for Camille, who walks in and surveys them all with a curious gaze.

"We're movin' to Mexico, darlin', that okay with you?" Logan asks, and Camille just laughs and shakes her head as she walks up to Logan, who wraps an arm tight around her waist.

"Someone's gotta keep the four of you in line," she says with a laugh, and James knows right then that everything's going to work out; Kendall lets out a laugh and settles down at his side, moving them so James's head is on his chest and his hand is in James's hair, stroking gently, and this right here is all James will ever need in the world.


End file.
